Posted by
wetbenang
at
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
MY GREATEST FEAR
Some time ago a friend asked me what I feared the most in this whole wide world. My greatest fear, I told her then, was being misunderstood -- by peers, colleagues, friends, family, everyone.
As I grow older (and not necessarily wiser), friends and family become increasingly more important in relevance. They matter more to me than ever. Where I fit in their lives and who I am in their hearts is important to me.
Because family and friends are a key part of our identity, they partly define who we are.
And vice versa.
This comes with certain assumptions and expectations. You assume and expect your friends to know you, to understand you. Especially those to whom you really open up your heart, those with whom you share your life most, those in front of whom you can think aloud.
And you try to do the same with them. Because you simply have to. If they don’t understand you, who will? If no one understands you, who are you?
Reality check.
No one gets to really know and understand you. And you don’t get to really know and understand your friends.
No matter how close they are to you and you to them, there’s always a chance of you misunderstanding them, and them misunderstanding you.
And that, my friends, remains my greatest fear.
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Thus, I have remained, a drifter..
Family, you learn to forgive.. well, eventually.
Loved ones.. as in partners, there'll be a time when you ask, wonder, what more did you need to do, to show/convince, that you'd give it all in the name of love.
Close friends - or those who were once.. you will encounter a time, or two, when you stare in disbelief.. questioning why, and how come, after all those time, spent, shared, of the good and the hardest of times, yet in a moment of haste, slipped thoughts, all just ends..
in any of the above, the hurt is as bad. slicing..
I guess my fear would be.. in the above 3 scenarios.. be doubted..
not fear, really, but what would hurt, truly..
Crabby - Temasek Born Malaysian said...
3:24 PM
Lis,
My fear: being misunderstood -> being doubted -> being hurt.
wetbenang said...
3:48 PM
Me? I fear nothing.
If u are my CLOSE FRIEND, you know that you can talk about just anything with me because as close friends, we respect and understand each other including appreciating our differences. Yet, we can still be close friends.
If you don't understand that, probably you need to do reality check.....
As for family, they have to take me the way I am as, if they want me to be someone else, they have to take in someone else....and I will gladly disappear from your life...
I am done with pleasing people....My life is too short to go around wondering and wandering....
You know who you are and where you are in my life. That's that....
samantha said...
8:21 PM